Okay, well that’s not entirely true but… Oh my God – Oh my God – Oh my God! I saw Joan Jett in concert on Monday night and SHUT UP! Because I can’t even contain my inner everything – from my inner child to my inner teen-angel, to my inner-lesbian and inner-mom. Seriously. Childhood fantasy…
Category: The awesomeness that is the inner workings of my somewhat disturbed and unarguably juvenile mind
The Best Exotic Jewish General (Code Lavender)
So I booked another rejuvenating stay at the Jewish General Hospital quite recently, and I have to say; The new wing is pretty luxurious. Yes it took me over 12 hours to be admitted – Yes it took me over 3 hours to get the results of my “emergency” CT Scan – and Yes there…
Beyonce can suck it and here’s why
Okay maybe I didn’t actually mean that Beyonce herself should suck it. What I meant is that this quote, “You have the same 24 hours as Beyonce” – The internet should suck it. And so should whoever created, mass produced and distributed all the memes, wall decals, diaries, mugs, and throw pillows with that quote on them. I…
Memes As A Weapon
Why don’t you tell us how you really feel? Actually. All of you people who keep posting memes and “inspirational” quotes over sunsets and any other pretty package you can find for the passive aggressive crap that you wish you were brave enough to say to people but aren’t – so you plaster it all…
My body is a living sacrifice new york city 5 borough bike tour
I’m still in shock. I can’t even believe that I’m walking upright, or at all, for that matter. I don’t know what the HELL I was thinking when I agreed to this but I was clearly under the influence of pure stupid. I COMPLETELY and TOTALLY over-estimated my abilities. And I’m really glad that I…
Bronch Asthmati Pneumonial Tubercu Menangeezus What The Hell Have You Given Me?
So, as I have mentioned in the past, I think it’s really annoying and stupid when people’s facebook statuses are all about how sick they are because I find it hard to believe that somebody with a fever of 105 is updating their profile picture instead of heading to the ER. And anyone who posts…
I Punched A Girl And I Liked It
After Boxing class last night, as I was about to drag my tired and sweaty body to the locker room to grab my stuff, the instructor called my name. “Jen! Don’t take off your wraps – come here!” I walked over to her expecting her to check to see if I’d been putting them (wraps)…
Like A Beached Beluga Clogging Down The Pedestrian Path
I started writing this post yesterday, and I was prepared to tell you all how crappy I’ve been feeling and follow that up with words of inspiration. I had gone on this run at 6:30. I was sad and frustrated when I left the house but as I ran I was overcome with a…
The Mice Will Play. NOT THE CATS. The MICE. (An openly passive aggressive wine review)
So hypothetically speaking…. If I had been left Pet-Sitting while somebody was away on vacation, basking in the sunshine, splashing around in the ocean waves, frolicking about like a floozy (no doubt) through the streets of some adorable little beach town, somewhere just far enough away that she probably can’t even remember my name, let…
The Almost Littlest Hobo
What? I’m only 5’2″ – Which makes me, at least by German or Swedish standards, pretty little for a fully grown woman. Of course I come from neither German nor Swedish lineage, but French – which makes me average at best, and Italian, which basically makes me amazonian. It’s all a matter of perspective really….