I’ve heard rumours of marriages being dissolved over some of the dumbest things, like leaving the cap off the toothpaste or leaving the lights on when leaving the room, forgetting the baby on the roof of the car etc… I don’t know who these people are married to but honestly, if they walked a day…
Category: The awesomeness that is the inner workings of my somewhat disturbed and unarguably juvenile mind
It could be worse, it could be 2016
People are complaining about the cold and the wet and the snow and yuck and I get that. I really do. I don’t love any of those things, and I don’t like to be that annoying yeah but person but.. For those of you do (or don’t) remember, last year on this very day, the…
Happy New Year (2017 )
Happy New Year!! So here’s the thing: Every year I update my New Year Resolutions from the previous year – checking off the ones that were accomplished, and reevaluating the relevance of the ones left undone – I either delete or update them accordingly and repost. I wouldn’t say that these resolutions are necessarily boring,…
Because Facebook Isn’t Real Life
I know that talking about Facebook is so old and done, but I still keep finding myself surprised by how seriously people take it. “You didn’t like the video I posted yesterday. Why? I thought you like goats.” ” I do like goats. I didn’t see your video.” “Yes, on Facebook. I posted it yesterday.”…
I like gay people – and other reasons to be very very afraid
So I was sitting around mourning my life losses the other day, lamenting closed windows and opportunities untaken, torturing myself by searching for the audition tapes of all the women who have lived and/or are presently living my personal life-long dream to be a writer/cast member of Saturday Night Live. Yes, I have more than one personal life-long dream and…
In which someone wipes the smug look off a guy’s face by smacking the trump hat off his head
Maybe it’s our fault, because we forgot to stop to buy champagne on the way there. Maybe deep deep deep down inside, we knew that the bottle of champagne would have just sat there on the coffee table, an unopened metaphorical bottle of salt for the infected wound that would fester deeper and deeper into the night, and the soft…
Alcohol makes you better at sports; A somewhat loose translation
Something I noticed when I moved back to Montreal years ago, was that Quebecers are so much more open and down to earth than Vancouverites. “What???” You may be asking yourselves. Or me. You may be asking me. “Aren’t Montrealers are a bunch of chain-smoking, meat-eating, sexist, stinky, racist anti-hijab fear mongers!??” To which I…
If only Spin class were more like drunk angry sex…
So here’s the thing. Last week I tried a spin class for the very first time in my life. I’m not going to lie. I didn’t really like it. So obviously, I went back and I tried it again. And still… While I appreciate that spin class is an awesome low impact workout that will…
I’m just so glad the reign of terror is finally over…
I hate April Fool’s day. And with good reason, it’s easily is the dumbest day ever. Seriously. It is so stupid. When my ex was a kid, his mom used to cook pieces of fabric into their pancakes the morning of every single April 1st. I’m not sure how that’s even funny. It just seems…
And for the children… Hollow Tombs
Did you know ( I didn’t, until today) that the tradition of the dying eggs was to colour them red, as a symbol of the blood of Christ (gross) and (even grosser) the significance of the easter egg itself is that it represents a hollow tomb? So basically, Walmart, and probably every pharmacy in North…