I’m going to tell my real mom!! And she’s going to come and get me! I wanted so much to believe, as so many perfectly happy and well loved children do, that I was secretly adopted from somebody interesting, exciting and foreign. Switched at birth or stolen from my birth-mother who was probably a rich…
Category: The awesomeness that is the inner workings of my somewhat disturbed and unarguably juvenile mind
Fingers
Naturally, as a child I thought the world was a cruel and unfair place to live, which of course it is. And naturally, I placed the blame solely on my Mother, therefore coming to the conclusion that most children make at some point in their evolution, or another, which is that I must…
Streaming TV ruined my life
Okay, that may have been a bit dramatic. What I meant to say is that streaming TV is evil and everyone should stop doing it right now. Too harsh? Fine. What I mean is, that streaming TV is making me sad and I wish people weren’t so into it. I’m not saying that I have…
Jen’s family and other animals
When I was quite young, I happened upon a copy of Gerald Durrell’s book, My Family And Other Animals. It is an autobiographical journey through Gerald’s eyes at about age 10. His family has moved from England to the Greek island of Corfu. To this day, it is still my absolute favourite book on earth….
Banksy is my spirit animal
Some people don’t believe in resolutions at all. Other people don’t believe that they work if you tell anybody what they are, or write them down, or make them on certain days, during certain seasons, under certain moons etc. and that’s fine. I, for one, celebrate 3 different New Years, 2 of which are…
Don’t accidentally bring home anybody you might potentially want to throw out in the morning (Happy New Year’s Eve)
In my extensive (10 minute) research (perusal of the internet) in preparation (procrastination) of writing this post, I came to learn that I am not the only one (you know how much I hate to not be the only one who anythings… unless its perfectly natural but unpleasant things that nobody wants to be the…
Yaaas Queen ! And other reasons for you to hate me
I’m having a very hard time distinguishing where that very fine line between being sensitive to and perpetuating racism is. Where do you draw that line? I’m not being flippant, I’m asking real questions and I need real answers. I’ve always loved the name Diego. The name Diego is a Spanish baby name and I,…
Shame on you IKEA!
Shame on you IKEA! And no, I’m not talking about the furniture you allegedly manufactured at forced labor camps, or your alleged connections to Castro, or the allegedly horsemeat meatballs and wiener sausages (honestly I don’t even know what the fuss was about that. People who think there is a difference between eating a cow or…
Upright Citizen’s Brigade New York
Since I was a little teeny tiny person, I’ve had a dream. A dream that so many others have had and still have today. A dream so unattainable and cliche yet real. I dreamed of fame and fortune and funny. But I’m not famous, I have no fortune and, as it turns out, I’m not nearly…
Because I’m funnier than you (a public apology of sorts)
In 2003 I was co-producing a regular Burlesque show in Montreal called Diary Of A Lost Circus, with my very dear and long lost friend Domenic Castelli. Which isn’t to say that he is literally lost. At least I hope that he isn’t, because it would be incredibly insensitive of me to mention it on…