Is there such thing as too much Self Care?

Is there such thing as too much Self Care?

It wasn’t even 7:00pm and I literally couldn’t keep my eyes open. I had chills even though the thermometer read 16 degrees Celsius in the house.


Oh, yes I know, the BBC weather guide says that the “recommended temperature is 21 degrees Celsius (69.8 degrees Farenheit), but you may be more comfortable at a higher temperature. If the temperature falls below 16 degrees Celsius (60.8 degrees Farenheit), the elderly especially could be at risk of suffering from hypothermia, heart attack or a stroke”

but my girlfriend assures me that

“It is weird that you’re cold because it’s SO HOT in here!” but…

I’m sure it was just the fatigue causing my lips to turn blue.

“Don’t slip into a hypothermic coma fall asleep,” I kept nagging myself, “or you’ll be up at 3:00am”.

I scrolled webMdDoes Fatigue give you chills?

answer:  you must be fighting a serious infection, have a high fever and/or have contracted an exotic parasite and/or flesh eating disease.

and Google,  Why am I so cold?

It’s true… I do get itchy a lot. I forgot about that.

I felt less alone, while violently and repeatedly snapping myself out of nodding off.

I perused articles about circulatory disfunction, natural remedies and self-care routines.

Problem solved.

Along with my desperation to stay awake, as it was finally 8:00pm, a perfectly reasonable time to retire for the evening, according to whoever this is:

I was so excited yet serene, and more than ready to melt right into the blankets, but had promised myself earlier that day that today was the day I would reinstate my elaborate bedtime ritual; Brushing and flossing all of my teeth, followed by a face cleansing, exfoliating, toning and moisturizing routine, 5 minutes of bedtime yoga and a 10 minute meditation.

I got up, ran to the bathroom, shivering uncontrollably. I frantically waved my toothbrush in the basic vicinity of my face, grazing at least 3 of my front teeth, and raced back to the bed.

I wormed my way back in between the sheets.

“Good job Jen. You’re nailing it. Way to win” I whispered, and let my heavy eye lids fall closed, “God this feels amazing…”

into the pillow case, as I felt the muscles in my body start to relax one by one. And then start tensing up again two by two. Nocturnal anxiety started to set in and the chills got worse. I tossed, turned, puffed, plumped and punched the pillows. I turned the light on and off and then back on.

I heard the banshee start wailing in the hallway; a half soaked catnip rat hanging from the side of her mouth, along with half her forked (long story) tongue.

I tried to to ignore it. I wrapped a pillow around my head, plugged my ears and rocked back and forth humming. Nothing could muffle the sound of her shrieking. I threw the blankets off and chased her down the hall.

“I’m sorry but I need to sleep Phoebe, mommy loves you but so tired, so so tired…”

I crawled back into bed, soggy plush rodent in hand,  and resumed thrashing about wildly.

“Shhhh Jen, calm. Deep calm. Gratitude brings grace, grace brings calm. Remember the self care articles, remember the night time routine and the gratitude, grace and calm. Breathe.”

“I don’t remember” I argued defiantly with myself,

I picked up my phone and flicked through my browser history. Ah… yes, the beautiful layout, the serene wordpress theme, the blogger who has her shit so together she has morning routines and afternoon routines and printable to-do lists with exotic fonts and bullet points.

Whatever it is she does, I’m going to do it right now. I don’t even care that it’s 10:00pm. I’m doing it, let’s go! Let’s

  1. Go for a walk
  2. Work on my blog for an hour
  3. Watch a few episodes of  a TV show
  4. Have a lil’ snack and some tea
  5. Write tomorrow’s to-do list
  6. Meditate for 10 minutes
  7. Read for 30 minutes

Okay wait. Go for a walk… even if that’s only 20 minutes + the hour of blog writing + a few episodes of a show (let’s say they’re only half an hour long, that’s 1 1/2 hours) + a little snack (20 minutes?) Tomorrow’s To-Do List (10 minutes?) + Meditate for 10 minutes + Read for 30 minutes…

Where are you going with your  4 HOUR BEDTIME ROUTINE LADY!!!!!

Half the blog posts I read from other self-loving power-house care-fo-yo-self gurus said be in bed by 8:00pm! I’m going to have to start getting ready for bed at 4:00 in the afternoon!

I don’t even get home from work until between 8:00-9:00pm some days. And the nights when I have a set at the Comedy Club, even later. I mean how am I supposed to adskljfasahfglaaaaaaaaahhhg…

I think that’s about where sleep finally kicked off and the night sweats kicked in.

I’m all for self-care. I clearly need it if I’m going to survive in this society, with its wildly stressful expectations on me like being grateful, graceful AND calm,  manifesting a good credit score, an organized wallet, and paying my rent every single month.

Not to mention the physical strain of having to wash, exfoliate, tone and moisturize my face before bed; to say nothing of doing all of that while trying to keep my blood circulating in this igloo of a house that I live in!

16 degrees Celsius people!!!

All ranting aside, I’m wide open to all and any tips, suggestions, success stories and even don’t-dos (like ripping half your eyebrow off with a charcoal mask – yay! Spa night!) so share people, dish! What works for you? How do you keep balanced in this crazy world during these crazy times?


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