It could be worse, it could be 2016

People are complaining about the cold and the wet and the snow and yuck and I get that. I really do. I don’t love any of those things, and I don’t like to be that annoying yeah but person but… For those of you do (or  don’t) remember, last year on this very day, the sidewalks were so icy here in Montreal, that it was actually safer to get to work on ice skates than by walking, and I took a video of Jo proving that very fact:    

Happy New Year (2017 )

Happy New Year!! So here’s the thing: Every year I update my New Year Resolutions from the previous year – checking off the ones that were accomplished, and reevaluating the relevance of the ones left undone – I either delete or update them accordingly and repost. I wouldn’t say that these resolutions are necessarily boring, but they’re personal – and not in a juicy secret exciting kind of a way. i.e.. publish blog posts more consistently, learn to speak Spanish, set up a housekeeping schedule etc… And while anyone who knows me, knows that I still set practical resolutions this year (and by set, I mean wrote the list, illustrated

Because Facebook Isn’t Real Life

I know that talking about Facebook is so old and done, but I still keep finding myself surprised by how seriously people take it. “You didn’t like the video I posted yesterday. Why? I thought you like goats.” ” I do like goats. I didn’t see your video.” “Yes, on Facebook. I posted it yesterday.” “Yeah, I understood that. I just didn’t see it.” “You didn’t look on my page? It’s on my page. I posted it around 2pm. Go see. And like it.” ” Okay but I don’t actually go look at my friends pages. I mean, I see a few things in my newsfeed when I sign in

I like gay people – and other reasons to be very very afraid

  So I was sitting around mourning my life losses the other day, lamenting closed windows  and opportunities untaken, torturing myself by searching for the audition tapes of all the women who have lived and/or are presently living my personal life-long dream to be a writer/cast member of Saturday Night Live. Yes, I have more than one personal life-long dream and yes, one of them is to rescue a family of goats, but I have it on good authority that I should aim high so… If ever, by some miracle, I should one day “make it”, at the top of my acceptance speech list will be my parents, my children, my girlfriend, my agent, my manager, and

In which someone wipes the smug look off a guy’s face by smacking the trump hat off his head

Maybe it’s our fault, because we forgot to stop to buy champagne on the way there. Maybe deep deep deep down inside, we knew that the bottle of champagne would have just sat there on the coffee table, an unopened metaphorical bottle of salt for the infected wound that would fester deeper and deeper into the night, and the soft tissue that is the hearts and souls of the people of this country. When I had originally planned to go home (and by home I mean my mother’s house – for the sake of this story and the heartstrings of its readers) for election day, it was with the full and selfish  intention of being

Alcohol makes you better at sports; A somewhat loose translation

Something I noticed when I moved back to Montreal  years ago, was that Quebecers are so much more open and down to earth than Vancouverites. “What???”  You may be asking yourselves. Or me. You may be asking me. “Aren’t Montrealers are a bunch of chain-smoking, meat-eating, sexist, stinky, racist anti-hijab fear mongers!??” To which I would respond by neither confirming nor denying your negative core beliefs about Quebec but by simply pointing out… “And they mix tobacco with their weed too. It’s really gross” “And also… ” you might add,  ” Down to earth? They’re not even vegetarian! They don’t hug trees! They barely recycle, they probably don’t even know

If only Spin class were more like drunk angry sex…

 So here’s the thing. Last week I tried a spin class for the very first time in my life. I’m not going to lie. I didn’t really like it. So obviously, I went back and  I tried it again. And still… While I appreciate that spin class is an awesome low impact workout that will help you to burn billions of calories and sweat your brains out in a kind of mindless way, – which is great for people like me, who find that thinking too hard hurts the brain- And while I did appreciate that basically there’s no coordination required, as the moves don’t get much more complicated than Stand up. Crouch

I’m just so glad the reign of terror is finally over…

I hate April Fool’s day.   And with good reason, it’s easily is the dumbest day ever. Seriously. It is so stupid. When my ex was a kid, his mom used to cook pieces of fabric into their pancakes the morning of every single April 1st. I’m not sure how that’s even funny. It just seems like a sad, disappointing, kind -of-gross choking hazard. Apparently there is a version of April fools day in almost every country in the world. Many have the same tradition as us, of playing jokes on people until noon, when we can all breathe a sigh of relief. But not really because there are plenty of

And for the children… Hollow Tombs

“OH MY GOD!!! I can’t believe I didn’t send my kids anything for Easter!” I admitted shamefully in the 50% all easter chocolate labyrinth at Walmart this morning. The shamefully part was due in part both to having not sent easter baskets to my kids and to actually being in Walmart. There was no chocolate labyrinth. The chocolate was cheap crappy chocolate (wax) easter bunnies, cream eggs and marshmallow chickens. The labyrinth was the chaotic maze of isles that the bags and boxes of chocolate were cascading haphazardly from. Easter used to be such a big deal in our family, and now? None of my kids are at home anymore,

I Don’t Give A Damn About My Bad Education

Okay, well that’s not entirely true but… Oh my God – Oh my God – Oh my God! I saw Joan Jett in concert on Monday night and SHUT UP! Because I can’t even contain my inner everything – from my inner child to my inner teen-angel, to my inner-lesbian and inner-mom. Seriously. Childhood fantasy realized – check! Also – The weirdest thing happened during and after the show. I thought. Deep thoughts. Not just thoughts about what an amazing couple Joan and I would make if she would just give me a chance, because I don’t even mind that she never seems to talk and is almost always on

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