Remember last week when I wrote a post responding to Chuck Henderson’s article called
50 Things Every Woman Should Realize About Men, and I promised you I’d respond to it, 10 things at a time for the next 5 weeks?
11. He Wants To Try Anal
He might never ask for it, but he wants it. And odds are, most, if not all of his former girlfriends wouldn’t let him. Let him have it at least once, maybe on his birthday. It’ll be a bonding experience.
First, not all men want it. Some men refuse to do it. Some men even think it’s gross. I know, it’s hard to imagine a man who isn’t intrigued by poop but, as few and far between as they may be, they do exist.
Also: The anus is surrounded by a muscle, called the anal sphincter. Aggressive and/or repetitive anal sex often leads to the weakening of the anal sphincter.
And: The tissue inside the anus is not as well protected as the skin outside the anus which leaves it particularly vulnerable to tearing and the spread of infection.
I’m not saying that anal can’t ever be fun, or safe. But I am saying that not all women think that a man’s fascination with her butt-hole is worth the risk of intense pain, the increased risk of contracting hepatitis, herpes, HIV,etc… and/or a future of incontinence.
Out of curiosity Chuck, how many of those dudes do you think will stick around after he renders his woman diaper dependent?
12. He Wants To Bang Your Friends
I’m not saying he’ll do it, but he wants to. Don’t take it personally—he’s wanted to bang 90% of all the women he’s ever met. It’s really not that big a deal. Let him know you know and watch how red he gets.
She wants to bang your friends too Chuck. I’m not saying she’ll do it, but I am saying that she probably will bang your brother, if she hasn’t already.
13. You Should Learn To Play Pool
There’s nothing hotter than a chick who can beat you in pool.
We know how to play pool Chuck. We just pretend we don’t so you can feel like a man and “teach” us how. We know how much you guys like to feel needed and it’s such an easy way to boost your self-esteem…
14. He Wants You To Seduce Him
Yes, he probably likes sex more than you do, but you want him to be happy, right? Don’t wait for him to instigate every time. Surprise him every once in a while.
Likewise buddy. And guess what. We like sex just as much as you do. But scratching your balls, farting, and sticking our hands on your crotch to show us the boner you just got from seeing Sandra Bullock on TV isn’t actually considered seduction.
15. He Notices When You Don’t Wear The Jewelry He Bought You
If you don’t like it, for Christ’s sake, say so and let him try again. It seems ungrateful when you wear it once and then he never sees it again.
16. He Wants You To Need Him
Sure, you’re an independent lady and he likes that. But he also wants to feel useful. So let him change a light bulb and open pickle jars for you. It boosts his self-esteem.
Uh huh, only we need the jar opened now, not in two weeks, if he gets around to it, which is why we let him “teach” us how to play pool last night instead.
17. You’ve Got To Watch Your Weight
Oh shit, did I really say that? Well, it’s true. Just because you landed him doesn’t mean you can eat whatever you want and stop going to the gym (and to be fair, neither can he).
Chuck is never afraid to tell it the way he sees it. But he is apparently afraid to show his face for some reason…
18. If You’ve Been Living Together For Longer Than Three Years, He’s Not Going To Marry You
At that point, he already considers himself married, and the idea of a wedding is more of a hassle than the special day it is to you. You can try to force him into it if you want, but…
I’m thinking that if you want to keep your woman, you might want to show her that she’s worth the “hassle”. I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to but…
19. Ultimatums Do NOT Work
Any time you try to force a guy to do anything, he WILL resent you for it. Try an honest talk about how you feel and what you want out of the relationship before you give him an “either/or.”
“Honey, we need to talk…”
20. He Wants Kids
It’s hardwired into his DNA. No matter what he says when he’s in his twenties, when he gets a little older, he’s going to want a legacy to leave behind. But please make sure he’s ready before you stop taking your birth control.
Is it also hardwired into his DNA to insist the kid is not his son, leave his baby-mama for a younger dumber woman, refuse to pay child support and/or show up on his days to see the kid, and tell all his friend’s and family that his (now) ex is a psycho-bitch who never lets him see his kids even though she secretly got pregnant all by herself just to try to keep him because he’s just that much of a prize?
Tune in next week for 10 Reasons Why Chuck Henderson Needs To Get Gay