Sleepless In Montreal

As the upstairs neighbours drift into a euphoric slow-wave dreamless delta state, their  brain waves slowing and enlarging blissfully like the heart of an angel (with dilated cardiomyopathy), a sudden and almost paralyzing shriek fills the air. “FLO GET THE F*@&! AWAY FROM THE DOOR! I swear to god I’ll spray you!” The screen door we installed…

Sophistication, Success and Serial Killers

My idol, Julia Cameron, includes this exercise in a few of her brilliant books, The Artist’s Way, the Sound of Paper and perhaps some others, where she encourages her reader to visit their own perceptions of what items for them could serve as a token of success. I have taken it a step further and…

Send in the reinforcement!

It seems that almost everyone from those living on the cobble stone streets of Europe and in the ocean side villas of the mediteranean to the bowels of northern Quebec Canada, is suffering from an affliction at the moment. Some are calling it a nasty cold, some a sinus thingy, and other’s a debilitating flu,…

The results are in!!

As some of you may or may not know, eight hundred and sixty seven years ago, instead of making an appearance on the Maury Povich show,  I spit in a vial and sent it to Ireland. While normally I am perfectly at home in the spotlight, I have to say that I’m pretty relieved to…

Women are ‘horrible horrible liars’

      Warning: Exceptionally, the following content was not written in a humorous tone and and may be disturbing or triggering to some readers. Reader discretion is advised.   Women are ‘horrible horrible liars’. According to Donald Trump in 2016, while referring to some of the women who have… accused him of sexual assault…

Are You My Mother?

  I’m going to tell my real mom!! And she’s going to come and get me! I wanted so much to believe, as so many perfectly happy and well loved children do, that I was secretly adopted from somebody interesting, exciting and foreign. Switched at birth or stolen from my birth-mother who was probably a rich…

Fingers

    Naturally, as a child I thought the world was a cruel and unfair place to live, which of course it is. And naturally, I placed the blame solely on my Mother, therefore coming to the conclusion that most children make at some point in their evolution, or another, which is that I must…

Streaming TV ruined my life

Okay, that may have been a bit dramatic. What I meant to say is that streaming TV is evil and everyone should stop doing it right now. Too harsh? Fine. What I mean is, that streaming TV is making me sad and I wish people weren’t so into it. I’m not saying that I have…

Jen’s family and other animals

When I was quite young, I happened upon a copy of Gerald Durrell’s book, My Family And Other Animals. It is an autobiographical journey through Gerald’s eyes at about age 10. His family has moved from England to the Greek island of Corfu. To this day, it is still my absolute favourite book on earth….

Banksy is my spirit animal

  Some people don’t believe in resolutions at all. Other people don’t believe that they work if you tell anybody what they are, or write them down, or make them on certain days, during certain seasons, under certain moons etc. and that’s fine.  I, for one, celebrate 3 different New Years, 2 of which are…