Kids are Jerks

In a good way though. For real, I admire them immensely. In fact I want to be them. I want to be 3 years old and here’s why: My daughter Julia answering the phone circa 1994, during a somewhat intense obsession with the animated movie Aladdin. *Ring Ring* “Yes Hello?” “Hello Julia, this is your…

I AM FAKE NEWS!

It finally happened. Jo was quietly running through her morning routine; drinking coffee, scrolling away on her phone, stalking chicks on the right, bombarding me with questions I can’t possibly answer. “Are these actual people???” “Are people this stupid?” “Are these idiots for real??” If they’re idiots there’s not much validity to what they’re saying, and if…

Self Mutilation and other acts of domestic rebellion

“I miss cooking” she said. “You do all the cooking around here, I feel like I never cook” she said. “I never cook anymore. I’m going to start cooking again” she said. I didn’t mind planning the menu. I have been wanting to make vegan buffalo wings for years. I love making Nachos, and chilli, jalapeño poppers,…

It could be worse, it could be 2016

People are complaining about the cold and the wet and the snow and yuck and I get that. I really do. I don’t love any of those things, and I don’t like to be that annoying yeah but person but.. For those of you do (or  don’t) remember, last year on this very day, the…

Happy New Year (2017 )

Happy New Year!! So here’s the thing: Every year I update my New Year Resolutions from the previous year – checking off the ones that were accomplished, and reevaluating the relevance of the ones left undone – I either delete or update them accordingly and repost. I wouldn’t say that these resolutions are necessarily boring,…

Because Facebook Isn’t Real Life

I know that talking about Facebook is so old and done, but I still keep finding myself surprised by how seriously people take it. “You didn’t like the video I posted yesterday. Why? I thought you like goats.” ” I do like goats. I didn’t see your video.” “Yes, on Facebook. I posted it yesterday.”…

I like gay people – and other reasons to be very very afraid

  So I was sitting around mourning my life losses the other day, lamenting closed windows  and opportunities untaken, torturing myself by searching for the audition tapes of all the women who have lived and/or are presently living my personal life-long dream to be a writer/cast member of Saturday Night Live. Yes, I have more than one personal life-long dream and…

Alcohol makes you better at sports; A somewhat loose translation

Something I noticed when I moved back to Montreal  years ago, was that Quebecers are so much more open and down to earth than Vancouverites. “What???”  You may be asking yourselves. Or me. You may be asking me. “Aren’t Montrealers are a bunch of chain-smoking, meat-eating, sexist, stinky, racist anti-hijab fear mongers!??” To which I…