I AM FAKE NEWS!

It finally happened. Jo was quietly running through her morning routine; drinking coffee, scrolling away on her phone, stalking chicks on the right, bombarding me with questions I can’t possibly answer. “Are these actual people???” “Are people this stupid?” “Are these idiots for real??” If they’re idiots there’s not much validity to what they’re saying, and if…

Self Mutilation and other acts of domestic rebellion

“I miss cooking” she said. “You do all the cooking around here, I feel like I never cook” she said. “I never cook anymore. I’m going to start cooking again” she said. I didn’t mind planning the menu. I have been wanting to make vegan buffalo wings for years. I love making Nachos, and chilli, jalapeño poppers,…

It could be worse, it could be 2016

People are complaining about the cold and the wet and the snow and yuck and I get that. I really do. I don’t love any of those things, and I don’t like to be that annoying yeah but person but.. For those of you do (or  don’t) remember, last year on this very day, the…

Alcohol makes you better at sports; A somewhat loose translation

Something I noticed when I moved back to Montreal  years ago, was that Quebecers are so much more open and down to earth than Vancouverites. “What???”  You may be asking yourselves. Or me. You may be asking me. “Aren’t Montrealers are a bunch of chain-smoking, meat-eating, sexist, stinky, racist anti-hijab fear mongers!??” To which I…

If only Spin class were more like drunk angry sex…

 So here’s the thing. Last week I tried a spin class for the very first time in my life. I’m not going to lie. I didn’t really like it. So obviously, I went back and  I tried it again. And still… While I appreciate that spin class is an awesome low impact workout that will…

My body is a living sacrifice new york city 5 borough bike tour

I’m still in shock. I can’t even believe that I’m walking upright, or at all, for that matter. I don’t know what the HELL I was thinking when I agreed to this but I was clearly under the influence of pure stupid. I COMPLETELY and TOTALLY over-estimated my abilities. And I’m really glad that I…

I Punched A Girl And I Liked It

After Boxing class last night, as I was about to drag my tired and sweaty body to the locker room to grab my stuff, the instructor called my name. “Jen! Don’t take off your wraps – come here!” I walked over to her expecting her to check to see if I’d been putting them (wraps)…

Like A Beached Beluga Clogging Down The Pedestrian Path

  I started writing this post yesterday, and I was prepared to tell you all how crappy I’ve been feeling and follow that up with words of inspiration. I had gone on this run at 6:30. I was sad and frustrated when I left the house but as I ran I was overcome with a…

And By Music I Mean Breasts

I’d be lying if I told you that there are no parts of my body that I hate. I’d be lying if I told you that there are any parts of my body that I love. But my perspective is skewed. And I hold very high double standards. When I was young (and by young I mean…