Alcohol makes you better at sports; A somewhat loose translation

Something I noticed when I moved back to Montreal  years ago, was that Quebecers are so much more open and down to earth than Vancouverites. “What???”  You may be asking yourselves. Or me. You may be asking me. “Aren’t Montrealers are a bunch of chain-smoking, meat-eating, sexist, stinky, racist anti-hijab fear mongers!??” To which I…

If only Spin class were more like drunk angry sex…

 So here’s the thing. Last week I tried a spin class for the very first time in my life. I’m not going to lie. I didn’t really like it. So obviously, I went back and  I tried it again. And still… While I appreciate that spin class is an awesome low impact workout that will…

My body is a living sacrifice new york city 5 borough bike tour

I’m still in shock. I can’t even believe that I’m walking upright, or at all, for that matter. I don’t know what the HELL I was thinking when I agreed to this but I was clearly under the influence of pure stupid. I COMPLETELY and TOTALLY over-estimated my abilities. And I’m really glad that I…

I Punched A Girl And I Liked It

After Boxing class last night, as I was about to drag my tired and sweaty body to the locker room to grab my stuff, the instructor called my name. “Jen! Don’t take off your wraps – come here!” I walked over to her expecting her to check to see if I’d been putting them (wraps)…

Like A Beached Beluga Clogging Down The Pedestrian Path

  I started writing this post yesterday, and I was prepared to tell you all how crappy I’ve been feeling and follow that up with words of inspiration. I had gone on this run at 6:30. I was sad and frustrated when I left the house but as I ran I was overcome with a…

And By Music I Mean Breasts

I’d be lying if I told you that there are no parts of my body that I hate. I’d be lying if I told you that there are any parts of my body that I love. But my perspective is skewed. And I hold very high double standards. When I was young (and by young I mean…

I’m not impressed

So in the spirit of yesterday’s post, I have decided not to retaliate violently against winter, by killing it. What I am doing, is diplomatically demonstrating my feelings. Civilly expressing my sentiments. Peacefully protesting winter. By giving up walking my dog until Spring.   And I thought you all should know.

Dear Québec, Grow The F#@K Up!

 That’s right, I’m heading for the danger zone here and I really don’t give a shit who hates me, judges me, or unfriends me on stupid facebook by the time I make it out. On that ragey note, let’s start with a charming little Once Upon A Time, shall we? 15 years ago, I was…

Dentistry Induced Erotica

  I have been having nightmares almost every single sleepless night for the last 7 1/2 years of my life. Last night was different. In my dream, it was nighttime and I was reclined on the sofa in the waiting room, where there were bay windows overlooking the street. A dentist was sewing up my…

On Being Yourself

    Dear Jennifer June, You seem so grounded and together. I feel so scattered and lost, unsure of what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. I feel like I’m in constant conflict between who I think I am supposed to be and who I am turning out to be instead. I yearn…