How does one ask their cat to move out? I’ve tried reasoning with him about screaming like a banshee all night but he doesn’t listen. He wants the bathroom tap left open so he can have fresh water at his disposal all night. He wants our bedroom doors open all night so he can…
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Pre-Mature Mid Life Crisis
15 days until I turn forty (I told you I couldn’t make any promises) and I’m thinking I should make a top-ten-list of things I can finally do now that I am going to be having a pre-mature mid-life crisis. 1 ) Start listening to Kenny G. 2 ) Host a weekly bridge night….
The mouths (pencil crayons?) of babes…
I will now share with you a small moment of the beauty of what motherhood means to me. Without questioning me, please allow me to first point out that bice is actually spelled bajs and it means (literally) shit (the noun) in Swedish. Enjoy. There are these days, as a parent, after a long and…
Give me a break!!!!! (please)
So this is fun… As many of you know, I almost died this January when my body revolted against me and decided to mistake my red blood cells for intruders and proceeded to kill most of them off. I spent weeks in the hospital and received 12 blood transfusions, immune globulin and a boat load…
About yesterday…
I’m going to personally customize the legal definition of the term Deadbeat Dad and extend it from: A father who ignores a Court order to pay child support to A father who willfully defaults on his obligation to father his children. You’re welcome. I looked up Livebeat dad before naming my post. I was expecting…
One Night Stand (Barcelona – Part five)
Have you ever had one of those one night stands that turns into two nights or a whole week-end? I’m talking about the kind where you both know that nothing is going to come of it but an awkward diner breakfast, an empty condom box and a hangover; so you can let go of your…
Bird is the word (Barcelona – Part four)
The first day on our trip we were walking up Avinguda de les Drassanes and I noticed a tiny little green bird flitting about the sidewalk. I tried to get his picture but he kept darting out of sight. He flew up into a tree and continued taunting me from behind the branches which led…
NO MOLESTAR (Barcelona – Part three / Google go back to school)
These were free for the taking at the tourist information center downtown Barcelona. On the back of each one it says ‘NO a la explotacion sexual’ According to google translator this means: ‘Ardent Russian to please your imaginations; Eastern submissive blue kiss; credit cards, African virgin, 200 Euros are accepted’ ‘he is not funny to…
Feed Me!! (Barcelona – Part two)
I think one of things I was most looking forward to about Spain, was the food. I had sugar plum day dreams of rolling in tapas and swimming in Sangria. I could taste the the Paella from all 30-something feet of altitude. I could feel the sweet sting of Mojitos on the inside of my…
He had a dream (Barcelona – Part one)
I have never been anywhere in my life. Correction: I have never been anywhere in my life, outside of North America, far enough away to provide any sort of culture shock. Correction: I hadn’t been anywhere outside of North America (in my entire life) up until last week. It was six weeks into my…