Because only the best of friends could care about my hungering. my longing, my lust, my slightly inappropriate yet insatiable yearning for Celebrity Chef Chuck Hughes enough to show him my photo and record his video message. To me. Saying my name. And blowing me kisses. And then email it to me so that I can play it…
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The Anatomy Of A Bad Boy (Dear Jack)
A piece of a conversation between my alter-ego and her friend, Jack: Dearest Jack, Let me help you understand women a little tiny bit. *Your observations are correct, in that it is true that many (too) MANY women are plagued with the heinous and heartbreaking (both to women and the nice-boys who love them ) addiction to the…
Massage And Other Forms Of Physical Assault
So I thought I’d give them a second chance… you know, in case we just didn’t get off on the right foot or something… Before anything else, I told the woman at the desk that I was using a gift certificate and that the tip had been paid in advance, to avoid any stressful argument…
Sexiest Valentine Ever Part One
Oh, you thought I was joking yesterday? No, no I was not. I am hell bent on having the sexiest colonoscopy anyone has every had in the history of womankind. You laugh, but I booked a Brazilian for this bitch and everything. Showered, legs shaved, full make-up, hair and nails… I even picked out a…
Naked School
So last night I dream that I am taking a stroll through the countryside when suddenly I come across a giant school. About the school yard wandered children, teachers and parents, most of whom were buck naked. I’m not going to lie. I was a little taken aback. I kept walking for a bit…
Teenage Melt-Down
Some favourite teenage quotes of the week: “I can do whatever I want” “I’m moving out” “You’re such a drama queen” “You can’t stop me!” “So! What are the police going to do about it?” “REAL MATURE MOM!” “You’re seriously expecting me to get a summer job? SERIOUSLY?” “Why is everything always all about you?” Via text:…
The miracle of life… and couple’s colonics
Jen: I’ve been on call for weeks for the birth of a baby and she’s threatening to come today so I have to go check on Mama at noon. If it looks like a false alarm I’ll text you after and see if there is still time for coffee today. Does that work for you? D: sounds…
App-Happy
Maybe it’s because I have a blackberry. Maybe it’s because I’m a cynical bitch. Maybe it’s because It kind of grosses me out how dependent/addicted North Americans have become on/on cell phones, text messaging and social media. It weirds me out a little how frantic people are about their missed calls and messages. I’m not…
Vagina Camp.
That’s right, you heard me, I said Vagina Camp. The thing is… I have written many posts already, with a plethora of keywords to chose from and for some reason, the majority of googlers who land on The Lady’s Lounge are searching for… how can I say this without getting even higher google rankings for…
Matthew McConaughey can suck it.
I figured it would be about as intelligent as those articles in Cosmo that tell you that in order to spice up your sex life you need to turn off the Television during love making or *yawn* prepare a candle lit meal for your mate. I still always read them, just in case somebody actually…