Oh, you thought I was joking yesterday?
No, no I was not. I am hell bent on having the sexiest colonoscopy anyone has every had in the history of womankind.
You laugh, but I booked a Brazilian for this bitch and everything. Showered, legs shaved, full make-up, hair and nails…
I even picked out a pre-hospital-gown Happy-Valentine-Colonoscopy outfit:
Go big or go home people!
There is no reason why fasting to the point of delirium or running to the bathroom to poop every five minutes should take the natural glitz and glamour out of having an endoscopic examination of your bowels via CCD camera or a fiber optic camera on a flexible tube passed through the anus.
I mean, it’s basically like starring in a porno… am I right?
Tune in later today for Sexiest Valentine Ever Part Two
which I will hopefully write under the influence of a Valium drip.