Jen: I’ve been on call for weeks for the birth of a baby and she’s threatening to come today so I have to go check on Mama at noon. If it looks like a false alarm I’ll text you after and see if there is still time for coffee today.
Does that work for you?
D: sounds good, luva!!
Jen: Looks like baby means business. Mom is napping but some of the contractions are 10 minutes apart. We’ll have to do this a different day.
D: No problemo my love!! I’m just quietly editing.
Jen: I’m excited for the baby but I was looking forward to seeing you.
Jen: That sounded really gay-adult. I’m sorry
D: Like Lezbo adult or like ‘Excuse me while I be all professional-adult-like”? Either way, I totally didn’t notice
Jen: Like professional middle-aged lesbo yoga instructor/adoptive mother of an imported baby… adult.
D: Oh. Like Jann from accounting who is a divorced single mother with adult children who just bought a fixer upper house with her dear friend Carla. They demo the house on the weekends, make stew in the crock-pot, garden and share a bed?
Jen: Jann still breastfeeds the son she bought 5 years ago and seems relatively androgynous except for that she and Carla put the (adult) kids to bed early on Sunday nights and vagazzle each other in front of the fireplace, over a bottle of wine or 3…
D: Yes. Yes, I got you. So you felt like you were being a bit like that Yes, now that I re-read your sentence I see that clear as day. I should pay more attention to you like Shaman Ronald discussed with us during our sessions. I’m sorry Jann… er I mean Jenn.
Jen: So we’re still on for couple’s colonics this week then?
D: Yes. And anal bleaching. I heard of this new place that uses completely organic bleach. Louise says it’s fantastic. She swears by it!
Jen: I <3 your guts so much that if it wasn’t gross I’d eat them.
*I also <3 Lesbians, gardening and crock-pots.
All couple’s-colonic loving, fire-front-vagazzlers can forward hatemail to:
jenniferjune @ theladyslounge . com