15 days until I turn forty
(I told you I couldn’t make any promises) and I’m thinking I should make a top-ten-list of things I can finally do now that I am going to be having a pre-mature mid-life crisis.
1 ) Start listening to Kenny G.
2 ) Host a weekly bridge night.
3 ) Buy Crocks and pretend they’re for gardening only but then wear them out for espresso martinis with Nanci
4 ) Become a Start wearing my Cougar T-Shirt.
5 ) Buy a harp.
6 ) Hire a life coach who will support my dream to start my own underwater basket weaving school.
7 ) Experiment with past life regression therapy and try to convince all of my friends that I used to be Cleopatra.
8 ) Fire all the friends who refuse to believe me and find brand new ones at a The Secret meetup group.
9 ) Steal/Rescue a pet emu from an emu farm, keep it in the backyard and fight all my neighbours in court when they complain.
10 ) Start urban emu owners meetup group.
This is just a start, I’m open to suggestions. Any thoughts?