I’m going to personally customize the legal definition of the term Deadbeat Dad and extend it from:
A father who ignores a Court order to pay child support
A father who willfully defaults on his obligation to father his children.
I looked up Livebeat dad before naming my post. I was expecting to find sites by super awesome involved dads blogging about how super awesome it is to be a super awesome involved dad but was put off immediately by a barrage of phrases like Child Abduction is Child Abuse, Visitation delayed is visitation denied, MY EX IS REALLY ANGRY, Visitation denied is a childhood lost etc…
I felt a bit sick to my stomach and opted for a new title.
So here’s the thing…
Yesterday was Father’s Day.
There is no Father at our house and many other houses full of kids.
There are, however, Fatherless houses that have super awesome men living in them, providing support to super awesome moms and a male role model for their more than deserving children.
While I think that any man should feel privileged to be included and welcomed into any woman’s family, and they should feel lucky and overwhelmed with gratitude for having the opportunity to share in the wonders of parenthood, the trials and tribulations of child rearing, the immanent joy of baby barf, diaper changing, 4 hour piano recitals and showers of adolescent attitude, I commend you.
Some of you are welcomed with open arms and others perhaps by a wall of resentment, the glaring of beady little eyes and fists slapping against the palms of menacing children.
“you’re not my dad” you might hear,
“You’re not the boss of me”.
I once dated this really tough guy with tattoos and a muscle car who was scared away by my 5 year old daughter within 2 seconds of meeting her.
“GET OUT!” she shouted.
and he did.
I just want to say though, that once you get over that and on to being one of the people those same little kids are searching for from the stage of their grade 2 winter concert, receiving your first three pound – I ❤ You – clay medallion, dangling from a shoe lace, painted pink with sparkles, or being asked advice from a wide eyed teenager who honestly believes that you know what you’re talking about; you can pretty much consider yourself one of the luckiest guys on earth.
Still, it must be pretty intimidating to walk into somebody else’s world, find your place in it and make yourself at home.
So to all of you who have…
I should have said it yesterday, Happy Father’s Day.