wanna suck my cork?

Sooo… this dude requests my friendship on Facebook right? Well, not my facebook so much as the facebook of my alter-ego/burlesque characterDamiana Dolce and, assuming he is one of my billions of fans, I accept him. He then quite promptly sends me an email saying “you looks horny, wanna suck my cork?” The thing is, I…

Open your whore mouth?

Interview generated by Aunt Becky of Mommy Wants Vodka Ok, so Aunt Becky over at Mommy wants Vodka is doing a giveaway and to be entered you have to complete this interview. I am entering for two reasons, one being that it gives me a chance to say Aunt Becky at least 3 times in one post…

Seriously? Cardi-Coats? SHUT-UP!!!

That’s it, I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to pile every one of my cardigans on top of my television and light them all on fire if I have to hear one more episode of Old Navy’s Cardigan campaign. Seriously? Cardi-Coats? Party-Cardies? AFTER-PARTY-CARDIES????? STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear wankerhut.com

Dear wankerhut.com, Words cannot express the feelings of jealousy or regret I felt the moment I simultaneously realized that you existed and that I had not the foresight to buy your domain name before somebody else did. Love Jen.

An uninviting passing memory

It makes me wonder sometimes whether I have learned anything at all or simply found a way to better hide that I still harbor the mentality of a misguided hormonal 14 year old girl. It? you ask. What is it? It wakes me in the morning reminiscent and melancholy. It makes me nostalgic for things that I am…

The Numbers are in:

  5 hours is what I spent yesterday, transforming my boyfriend’s face into a zombie in Photoshop before both of us decided that maybe the concept was all wrong. 9 hours a day (on average) is what I spent in front of the computer working on the The Lady’s Lounge and Damiana Dolce this week….

Education or mass hysteria?

  I took Chloe to the clinic once when she was about 4 or 5 years old for a rash that covered her entire back. I thought she was having an allergic reaction to something but didn’t take her the first or second day because a similar thing had happened with her sister and the…

Chloe don’t eat the fish!!

This morning I was loading the dishwasher and noticed a Tupperware container with remnants of tuna in it, in the sink. Shit! That was in the fridge for over a week… I know Annika didn’t eat it because she never makes her lunch and Julia is still downstairs sleeping. I grab my phone and call…