Just when I started to worry that we weren’t a penis obsessed enough, I find out that the Icelandic whaling town of Husavik has a museum featuring over 270 preserved penises from over 90 different species of Mammals, most of them originating on Iceland or in offshore waters but also including 23 in the “folklore” section. WHAT??
Oh… you mean like elf penises, troll, jackalope, merman and hobgoblin penises? Penises belonging to Big Foot, the Loch Ness Monster or Mbielu-Mbielu-Mbielu?
Oh, OK. Phew!
Because I thought they meant Folklore the PlayStation® game and I was all.. “Yeah right! That’s not even real!”
Well… somebody had to do it right? I mean…
What if there was no Penis Museum?? What would we do then?
“It should be noted that the museum has also been fortunate enough to receive legally-certified gift tokens for four specimens belonging to Homo Sapiens. Besides there are some twenty-three folklore specimens and forty foreign ones.”
Well thank you Pall Arason for donating your manhood to Phallus Is – organ donation does save lives after all.
But mostly thanks for sending a photo of your forthcoming contribution to be mounted on the museum wall.
I, for one, am waiting with bated breath.
And Stan Underwood, the written description of your penis ‘Elmo’ alongside a life-size plastic mould? Love it!
Regarding the “foreign” Penises, should I even ask?
Out of curiosity I googled “Vagina Museum”, to see if there was one and the first four links that came up were:
1) Museum of Menstruation
2) Vaginal douche, the ‘Omega Spray’, 1900-1940.
3) My Vagina was my village
4) World’s Strongest Vagina …
which, incidentally, belongs to Russia’s pride and joy, Tatiata Kozheynikova.
I also discovered that The Russian Museum of Erotica has been bragging about its acquisition of the penis of Rasputin.
Igor Knyazkin, the director of the Museum, claims that he bought it from a French antiquarian for $8,000.
This dude comes up to you and says “Pssst… wanna buy a penis? I’ve got this dried up 13 inch pecker that used to belong to Rasputin and I’m letting go reeeeal cheap.”
and you just take his word for it, dish out 8 grand, plunk it in a jar of formaldehyde and declare it authentic? Just like that?
Have I got something for you…
The Phallus Is museum is open May through September from noon until 6 P.M. Group reservations (It just gets better and better!) can be booked ahead of time by calling the museum at any of the following numbers: 011-354-566-8668, 011-354-868 7966 or 011-354-561 6663 and the address is: Hedinsbraut 3a, 640 Husavik, Iceland. For more information, email the museum at: email@example.com