He had a dream (Barcelona – Part one)

  I have never been anywhere in my life. Correction: I have never been anywhere in my life, outside of North America, far enough away to provide any sort of culture shock. Correction: I hadn’t been anywhere outside of North America (in my entire life) up until last week. It was six weeks into my…

Almost no sex in the city…

So…. I rarely go to the movies because my kids are all old enough to like the same films as me now and it costs about 6 billion dollars for the four of us to go together. That having been said, in the last week, my girls and I have been to TWO, count ‘em…

♪ Waiting in the waiting room♪

  Yesterday we waited 3 hours before asking the receptionist how much longer. We were coughed on, sneezed on and educated quite thoroughly on Rheumatoid Arthritis and Irritable Bowel Syndrome before leaving. “I can’t tell you exactly m’am” droned the receptionist, in time with her rolling eyes, “But it will be at least 2 hours…

♪ Waiting in the waiting room ♪

Yesterday we waited 3 hours before asking the receptionist how much longer. We were coughed on, sneezed on and educated quite thoroughly on Rheumatoid Arthritis and Irritable Bowel Syndrome before leaving. “I can’t tell you exactly m’am” droned the receptionist, in time with her rolling eyes, “But it will be at least 2 hours still.”…

Stay Gold

Holy crap-bag this is the Mother’s day of all Mother’s days. I woke up and had a green tea, ignored the dog and cursed the snow as it fell violently from the sky, as if to taunt me. “Hahahah!! That’s what you get for throwing your winter boots in the garbage you self righteous winter-hating…

Where have I gone?

I looked at her profile page. I won’t deny it. I do it and, so does every other chick with a MySpace/Twitter/Facebook page. We stalk the hell out of each other and any girl who denies this is a flat out liar. We stalk our boyfriend’s pages, our ex-boyfriend’s pages, our ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend’s pages,…

Private Bodies

I was walking through the park, watching the party of squirrels darting around through the grass. They’re cute I guess but I’m not a huge fan. To be honest, I find them, like pigeons, to be a bit grungy and desperate, and I am not at all in the habit of paying them any close…

Oh Betty!

What means play and adventure down below? What comes in a rainbow of choices with fun names like: Black Betty Auburn Betty Brown Betty Blond Betty Fun Betty Malibu Betty and…Sexy Betty? That’s right… You guessed it… Pubic hair dye! Yeay! How awesome is that? I’m tempted to dye my bush turqoise just because I think…

Did I ever tell you you’re my hero…

In Julia Cameron’s book, there is an exercise where you are supposed to create a “Hall of Champions”. This is a list of people who wish you and your creativity well, those who do or have championed your creative self worth. I find this exercise a little draining because many of the characters in my…

Brain farts in the night…

Boyfriend: Last night was the third time in a week that I dreamed that the roof was caving in on me. Me: Maybe it’s because you are feeling a lack of control in your life and you feel vulnerable and helpless or you’ve taken on too much and its all falling in on you. Boyfriend:…