Trimming The Bush And Stepping Out

  Something has happened to me. Again. I’m not sure when it happened but at some point between reckless, exhibitionist party rager and now, I lost all enthusiasm for leaving the house. Even opening the front door to get the mail feels like a chore. Somewhere between super social butterfly and now, I’ve come to…

Occupy Wall Street Or Buy A Corn Broom

  Before the rotten tomatoes start flying, a little disclaimer. I support the demonstrations/protests/occupations/tent cities. I am excited about this uproar of spirit and unity. I have a bunch of friends and family down there and I am intensely proud of them. They are some of the sweetest, most generous and environmentally conscious people I…

Because these things happen to me…

So I’m at a client’s house the other day… Innocently feeding her baby, minding my own business and also trying very much to mind the baby’s face and hands since, due to a lack of high chair, she was sitting in my lap. Mom enthusiastically chopped a chicken into 40 pieces right in front of…

Teenage Melt-Down

Some favourite teenage quotes of the week: “I can do whatever I want” “I’m moving out” “You’re such a drama queen” “You can’t stop me!” “So! What are the police going to do about it?” “REAL MATURE MOM!” “You’re seriously expecting me to get a summer job? SERIOUSLY?” “Why is everything always all about you?” Via text:…

Heroin, Explosives And Nut Meats etc..

This is not a blog post. This is a stream of conscious writing  ramble on the train. Driving takes about 6 or 7 hours depending on where in New York you’re going but the stress of traffic can be exhausting and paying for parking in New York city is almost as expensive as a hotel…

And the sky is grey…

  I’ve wanted to move to California since I was 12 years old. On my 13th birthday my friend gave me a bottle of pink champagne which she smuggled back for me from a family vacation to Hollywood. The plan was to drink it on my 16th birthday, on our way to California in the…

Urban Honesty

Honestly!! An Urban Dictionary? For what? Our language is going to hell in a hand-basket and there are real live humans who actually believe that it is a reliable source of legitimate information. What kind of humanity leads to literary chaos so powerful that even the Oxford English Dictionary is bullied into granting ‘trolleyed’, ‘jazz…

My Vagina + Household Cleaner = Unconditional Love

When we see the news we are often taken aback by the stories of stupidity and wonder what the hell is wrong with somebody who leaves their baby alone in the car for hours but it’s kind of hard to blame them when you see some of the messages they get when they watch television…

The miracle of life… and couple’s colonics

Jen: I’ve been on call for weeks for the birth of a baby and she’s threatening to come today so I have to go check on Mama at noon. If it looks like a false alarm I’ll text you after and see if there is still time for coffee today. Does that work for you? D: sounds…

App-Happy

Maybe it’s because I have a blackberry. Maybe it’s because I’m a cynical bitch. Maybe it’s because It kind of grosses me out how dependent/addicted North Americans have become on/on cell phones, text messaging and social media. It weirds me out a little how frantic people are about their missed calls and messages. I’m not…