Yesterday we waited 3 hours before asking the receptionist how much longer. We were coughed on, sneezed on and educated quite thoroughly on Rheumatoid Arthritis and Irritable Bowel Syndrome before leaving. “I can’t tell you exactly m’am” droned the receptionist, in time with her rolling eyes, “But it will be at least 2 hours still.”…
Tag: Jennifer June
Stay Gold
Holy crap-bag this is the Mother’s day of all Mother’s days. I woke up and had a green tea, ignored the dog and cursed the snow as it fell violently from the sky, as if to taunt me. “Hahahah!! That’s what you get for throwing your winter boots in the garbage you self righteous winter-hating…
Marry Me?
I read recently in an advice column, responding to a woman who was wondering why her boyfriend won’t marry her, that she should look in the mirror and ask herself this question: Would you marry yourself? If the answer is yes, she should move on and find the man who feels the same way. If…
I Want To Be Your Fantasy, Maybe You Could Be Mine
I remember laying in my bed, with all the lights off, trying to force myself to cry while Prince sang his heart out, and Purple Rain came pouring from my tape deck. It usually worked. 13 year olds have a particular talent for method acting. He wailed and groaned and moaned and peaked my sexual…
Dear Boyfriend, I think you might be Polish
My boyfriend, is convinced that he is Spanish. His father’s family is Acadian from New Brunswick and his mother was born in Montreal but adopted as an infant and apparently has no information about her cultural background. François has taken it upon himself to choose an ancestral background and has acquired the hellbent insistence that…
By possible mood swings, you mean feeling increasingly stabby right?
I thought that I would come home with this amazingly serene feeling, post-hospital epiphany in tow. After all, my life flashed before my eyes and what have you. When I was still in, I lay playing with the controls of my foldy bed, thinking long and hard about what would happen if I just died,…
Aaaaaaand scene!
Christmas reminds me of childbirth, in that there is all this exciting build up, decorating, shopping, alerting and gathering of the family etc… but then, when it is just about to happen, you suddenly change your mind and want to either stop the whole show or just skip straight to the day after. The day…
The Numbers are in:
5 hours is what I spent yesterday, transforming my boyfriend’s face into a zombie in Photoshop before both of us decided that maybe the concept was all wrong. 9 hours a day (on average) is what I spent in front of the computer working on the The Lady’s Lounge and Damiana Dolce this week….