I’ve been running around like a crazy person lately, and if feels like there is barely time to breathe because there’s all this stuff to take care of. Some of it sucks, like work stuff and grown-up stuff, bills and being nice to people and faxing stuff…and stuff. Some of it is awesome, like social…
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Desperate Buyers And Vagina Voyeurs
I had this idea a couple of years ago, that I could spend my time doing what I loved most in life. Of course, I knew that writing stories and singing songs wouldn’t pay my rent, but I heard that if I allowed companies to advertise on my blog, I could make enough…
What Shattered First, My Ego Or My Dreams Of Becoming A Running Superstar?
Slurp slurp slurp… That’s me. Licking my wounds. Friday night, as some of you already know, I MC’d a burlesque show here in Montréal for the first time in years. I was pretty relaxed about introducing the show and performing and stuff but I had plans for an evolution of character over the course of…
Bankruptcy Claims, Heroin, Psych Evaluations, Chlamydia, Etc…
Michael Bolton was on a talk show this morning, discussing his new book and his not so new collaboration with the SNL boys for their Lonely Island project. Despite his obvious talent, I was too wannabe punk-rock/new-wave during the peak of his fame and popularity to appreciate his music, but I did feel…
Massages and other debilitating preoccupations
So here`s the thing. I was given a certificate for a spa this week and I booked myself an hour long massage. I was given the 90 minute option but, naturally this sent me into a state of panic. I can’t stay calm that long. I can’t quiet the incessant chatter in my…
Dear God In Heaven (I’m Sorry)
Dear God In Heaven, I’m sorry. There I said it. Well, I’m not sorry sorry but I mean, maybe “over” is too strong of a word for what it is. I’m just saying that maybe I was a little hasty. I thought it through and yes, I do need to learn how to set boundaries but I…
Dear God In Heaven (It’s Over)
Many people, who are now my enemies for life because they’re obviously stupid and/or live in a world made of rainbows and gumdrops and unicorns, say that the Lord (That’s you God) only gives one as much as he or she can handle in life. What one can handle and what you, LORD, seem to…
Marilyn Is My Spirit Guide
Oh the continuing saga of my battle for peace and conformity… I didn’t sit down and adjust my life plan last night and I can’t even tell you why. I had the best of intentions, I really did. But somewhere between folding the laundry on my bed, to make space for a comfy work surface,…
If My Mouth Were Right Next To My Gonopore
You know, there’s this service where people who are desperately in need but have very limited funds, can have a housekeeping service come over once or twice a week, subsidized, at least in part, by the government. I, however, am not visibly or physically disabled in anyway that would qualify me, which is very unfortunate,…
Wine, Wrestling and Weight Watchers
So I haven’t written in days but promised myself in advance that today would be the day to end the writing drought and naturally, last night I drank the better part of a bottle of wine, or two, rendering me a little brain-dead this morning. Speaking of which, I’d like to bring to the board a…