I had this idea a couple of years ago, that I could spend my time doing what I loved most in life.
Of course, I knew that writing stories and singing songs wouldn’t pay my rent, but I heard that if I allowed companies to advertise on my blog, I could make enough money to keep blogging, work on my book and make music and still be able to pay the rent, keep the wine cellar stocked, AND maybe even feed my children, on the very rare occasion that they were worthy.
SO I promptly bought up a few domain names and set up shop.
I took an online SEO course or three, downloaded Noble Samurai, chose pointless niches. Bought useless names, and applied to about 353423432143664 affiliate programs.
One month I made a hundred dollars.
Most months I made closer to three
As it turned out, people aren’t googling burlesque performers, lonely single mom blogs, and vegan activist we sites nearly as much as you might expect them to, and the few who aren’t aren’t usually looking to buy anything.
“You need to create a site that will attract desperate buyers”
A friend advised me.
“A site about weight loss or financial ruin or genital warts or a fatal disease or something like that…
something that people will pay anything to cure. Those people will click and buy, and you will reap the benefits.”
I’d be lying if I didn’t consider it, but only for a few minutes.
Well maybe more than a few.
I may or may not have searched godaddy for whywontmyboyfriendmarryme.com or inquired into the availability of loseweighteatingicecream.ca or bumwarts.info or something along those lines.
I honestly can’t remember.
But that’s not important.
What is important is that
I couldn’t bear the thought of making money off desperate people who don’t need yet another @sshole to take advantage of them, by selling them shit that they don’t need because it’s not real and isn’t going to solve anything.
What’s important is that I didn’t want to contribute to the false hope and the broken dreams of anyone other than the 3 children that I brought onto this planet for that precise reason.
So I opted not to go the desperate buyer route and continue to deposit my 3 dollar adsense cheques into my account, with a relatively clean conscious.
Which isn’t to say that I don’t have adds on my site. Because I do. See? Right there. On top of this post. and to the right of it.
But I feel confident that very few of you landed at The Lady’s Lounge out of a DESPERATE cry for help in the form of an insatiable desire to purchase a retro salt shaker, or a yoga mat, or trendy cosmetics, or vegan shoes. But if you did. Click on the links buy some. Buy lots and lots of them. You need them, you know you do.
So, even though I pretty much gave up the dream to get rich ruining the lives of innocent pathetics, it has come to my attention lately, that many Many MANY people, from all parts of the world, are landing daily on my blog by googling the words Vagina Museum, and, while it makes my moral self a little itchy, I caught myself feeling a little tiny bit tempted to splurge on the the purchase of vaginamuseum.com. I didn’t do it. But I considered it.
Until it occurred to me that there probably aren’t a ton of wholesome pay-per-click advertisers that would fit the theme.
So then I thought maybe I should actually create a real Vagina Museum. I would have a legit reason to have the domain name and could continue to attract these very same readers without having done it under false pretenses.
And then it occurred to me that creating a vagina museum might be a bit expensive what with staff, venue, rights, licensing, permits, advertising etc…
Also, (I hope) I imagine it can’t be all that easy to find exhibit pieces, be they pickled, preserved, mummified or otherwise..
Plus there’s the kind of important part where I STILL wouldn’t actually make any money.
And on top of all that, I don’t care about my vagina museum at all and I never really have so it is clearly destined to become a source of resentment and a monument of my broken dreams.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how my brain functions.
Oh, and also:
From: Jennifer June <email@example.com>
Sent: Mon, Apr 29, 2013 9:17 pm
Just a quick note to inquire how much you are asking for the domain name
It was acquired by me in Auction.
Shall settle for $3500.
I’m just saying…