Christmas reminds me of childbirth, in that there is all this exciting build up, decorating, shopping, alerting and gathering of the family etc… but then, when it is just about to happen, you suddenly change your mind and want to either stop the whole show or just skip straight to the day after. The day…
Month: December 2009
The landing strip
So… I don’t want to offend anybody here but I’m just going to come right out and say that I don’t get what people call “the landing strip”, or “pubic hair mustache”. I don’t know if it’s because it reminds me of porn from 1989 or something else, but it just looks weird to me….
Bring on the clowns
“Why don’t you go to Addition Elle or Penningtons?” My husband would suggest to me. “WHAT?? WHY?” “Because you are always complaining that the boutiques in the mall only have clothes for 12 year old barbie dolls, maybe you should go somewhere for big girls.” Did he just call me a big girl? I’m not big….
wanna suck my cork?
Sooo… this dude requests my friendship on Facebook right? Well, not my facebook so much as the facebook of my alter-ego/burlesque characterDamiana Dolce and, assuming he is one of my billions of fans, I accept him. He then quite promptly sends me an email saying “you looks horny, wanna suck my cork?” The thing is, I…
Open your whore mouth?
Interview generated by Aunt Becky of Mommy Wants Vodka Ok, so Aunt Becky over at Mommy wants Vodka is doing a giveaway and to be entered you have to complete this interview. I am entering for two reasons, one being that it gives me a chance to say Aunt Becky at least 3 times in one post…
Show me your boobs! Be a sweetheart and go in the other room to play…
We’re at Nanci’s for our bi-weekly supper and 4 or 8 bottles of wine. Her husband, Renaud is off playing hockey or having an affair or something equally as macho and the kids are bouncing off the walls. Mine are teenagers but no less intrusive than the 3 and 5 year olds who are wielding swords and…
Seriously? Cardi-Coats? SHUT-UP!!!
That’s it, I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to pile every one of my cardigans on top of my television and light them all on fire if I have to hear one more episode of Old Navy’s Cardigan campaign. Seriously? Cardi-Coats? Party-Cardies? AFTER-PARTY-CARDIES????? STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear wankerhut.com
Dear wankerhut.com, Words cannot express the feelings of jealousy or regret I felt the moment I simultaneously realized that you existed and that I had not the foresight to buy your domain name before somebody else did. Love Jen.
An uninviting passing memory
It makes me wonder sometimes whether I have learned anything at all or simply found a way to better hide that I still harbor the mentality of a misguided hormonal 14 year old girl. It? you ask. What is it? It wakes me in the morning reminiscent and melancholy. It makes me nostalgic for things that I am…