I’m Cheating On You And Other Forms Of Useless Blackmail

I’m Cheating On You And Other Forms Of Useless Blackmail

Me: So are you coming over tonight?
Boyfriend: I have to keep working on this track for blah blah blah and I have to polish up the sample pack for boodittybooblahbooregefad and…
Me: I know this isn’t the best time to tell you but I’m cheating on you and I’m sorry but I am probably not going to stop.
Boyfriend: You’re watching True Blood now? While you’re talking to me?
Me: I’m just saying…
Boyfriend: Didn’t you already watch that episode 5 times yesterday?
Me: I knew you wouldn’t understand.

Boyfriend: Oh by the way, I talked to that guy in blah blah blah and he wants to put together a video for blah blah blahblhablafksalfdhasrfhajkf and…
ME: I’m not coming back from Sweden when I go. I’m going to hunt down the family of Alex Skarsgård and bribe them to arrange our marriage…
Boyfriend: which is cool because I only have to…
Me: I’ll probably have his babies and I wanted you to hear it from me first so…

Boyfriend: Am I talking to myself?
Me: Hmm? No, I heard you. You have to change the BPM if you want blah blah blah…

Boyfriend: K, I should get back to work.
Me: I should get back to cheating on you.
Boyfriend: Have fun with that.