I’m Cheating On You And Other Forms Of Useless Blackmail

Me: So are you coming over tonight?

Boyfriend: I have to keep working on this track for blah blah blah and I have to polish up the sample pack for boodittybooblahbooregefad and…

Me: I know this isn’t the best time to tell you but I’m cheating on you and I’m sorry but I am probably not going to stop.

Boyfriend: You’re watching True Blood now? While you’re talking to me?

Me: I’m just saying…

Boyfriend: Didn’t you already watch that episode 5 times yesterday?

Me: I knew you wouldn’t understand.

Oh by the way, I talked to that guy in blah blah blah and he wants to put together a video for blah blah blahblhablafksalfdhasrfhajkf and…

ME: I’m not coming back from Sweden when I go. I’m going to hunt down the family of Alex Skarsgård and bribe them to arrange our marriage…

Boyfriend: which is cool because I only have to…

Me: I’ll probably have his babies and I wanted you to hear it from me first so…

Am I talking to myself?

Me: Hmm? No, I heard you. You have to change the BPM if you want blah blah blah…

K, I should get back to work.

Me: I should get back to cheating on you.

Boyfriend: Have fun with that.

Jennifer June


  • At 2012.06.19 11:44, JP said:

    What a understanding conversation.!!

    • At 2012.06.20 12:44, Teddie said:

      I’d like a little more depth. But maybe that’s just me. Ta TA.

      • At 2012.06.20 13:26, Jennifer June (admin) said:

        Single mom, dead ex-husband, living below the poverty level, suffering from mysterious, potentially fatal auto-immune disorder and all the symptoms that go with it, working 2 draining jobs in front-line social work, raising teenagers, fending off their predators, burnt the hell out and tired as fuck… I’m going to allow myself to be shallow from time to time.
        But that’s just me.

        (Required, will not be published)

        six × = 48

        CommentLuv badge

        Optionally add an image (JPEG only)