Chloe don’t eat the fish!!

Chloe don’t eat the fish!!

This morning I was loading the dishwasher and noticed a Tupperware container with remnants of tuna in it, in the sink. Shit! That was in the fridge for over a week…

I know Annika didn’t eat it because she never makes her lunch and Julia is still downstairs sleeping. I grab my phone and call Chloe’s school immediately. I get the answering machine 3 times before talking to a human being. In between calls, I text all of Chloe’s friends.

“Yes, I need to get an urgent message to my daughter. She needs to call home immediately!”

“I don’t have an office monitor, it will have to wait to later”

“It can’t wait until later, there is poisonous fish in her lunch! She’ll be hospitalized! You have to get her the message immediately!”

“I’ll get the message to her when I have an office monitor to deliver the message to her.”

I noticed the tuna in the Fridge on Friday and didn’t throw it out, what’s wrong with me? Am I really that lazy, that negligent? My daughter’s life is in the hands of a non-existent office monitor because I couldn’t be bothered to throw the stupid tuna in the garbage?


“Chloe! Thank god! Did you eat the tuna in your lunch?”
“What tuna? I don’t have any tuna in my lunch. But thanks for the CHLOE DON’T EAT THE FISH announcement at school,” Sarcasm drips through the phone “that was awesome.”

Julia walks in to the kitchen…”I ate that tuna for lunch… yesterday. It was fine.”

I need a vacation. A real one, with a beach and sunshine and pool boys and what-have-you…

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