Thai Bowls And Russian Mobsters

So the other night I order a take-out Thai curry for delivery and it took me on a mini-adventure. The delivery person was a middle-aged Russian man named Vitaly, who, instead of waiting patiently at the bottom of my stairs when I buzzed him in, tromped right up them, in his sloppy snowy salty boots,…

Dentistry Induced Erotica

  I have been having nightmares almost every single sleepless night for the last 7 1/2 years of my life. Last night was different. In my dream, it was nighttime and I was reclined on the sofa in the waiting room, where there were bay windows overlooking the street. A dentist was sewing up my…

On Being Yourself

Dear Jennifer June, You seem so grounded and together. I feel so scattered and lost, unsure of what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. I feel like I’m in constant conflict between who I think I am supposed to be and who I am turning out to be instead. I yearn for the…

CHEERS! WE DID IT EVERYBODY!

  Today is a super amazing awesome incredible celebratory day. I feel like, instead of sitting here wrapping, elevating, and icing my swollen ankle, I should be drinking champagne with my family and screaming CHEERS! WE DID IT EVERYBODY! And I will. When I’m not clambering around on crutches, treading anti-inflamitories. So here’s the thing….

Wine And Dash

  Motivation sure does come in all shapes sizes and flavours doesn’t it? I mean some people are inspired by the successes of their peers, mentors, and idols. Others perhaps by heart wrenching stories of those less fortunate, disfigured or maimed. What? You’ve never temporarily considered joining a bouldering club after hearing of a rock…

Feel Good Feelings And Other Sociopathic Symptoms

Here’s the thing. The thing is that I may or may not (absolutely do) have, albeit un-diagnosed, mental health issues that have been amplified to an unflattering extent, on account of a mountain of stress at work, a recent and very heartbreaking break-up, a relapse into financial ruin, and children who keep trying to kill…

Being not dumb (My Life As Marilyn Part 2)

  So remember yesterday when i was telling you that Marilyn Monroe and I are pretty much the same person, minus the She’s the epitome of womanhood plus she’s rich famous and dead and I’m a short round middle aged mom who nobody knows and also I’m ass broke and very much alive part? Well,…

Food For The Soul Washed Down With A Cold Bear…

  I’m in a mood. I’m in a mood lately. I’m in a mood lately where so many amazing, fantastic, mind-blowing things are going on around me and doors are opening faster than I can run through them, yet I find myself sitting in a corner licking my wounds and analyzing obsessively the very few…