- If only Spin class were more like drunk angry sex…
- I Punched A Girl And I Liked It
- Like A Beached Beluga Clogging Down The Pedestrian Path
- And, while I didn’t think it possible, I’ve definitely gotten even sexier than I already was.
- Four Fife Sic Zumba! !
Sometimes I want to share with you guys girly shit I’m going through but I’m scared to simultaneously obliterate my macho image I’ve worked so hard to construct and bore you to tears.
I think it’s called girl talk.
By girl talk. I don’t mean bitching about my friends behind their backs (not that they’d know mind you, those bitches NEVER read my blog anyway).
I don’t mean like cry at you that I have a migraine and that my cramps are so bad it feels like my uterus is trying to give birth to itself.
I don’t mean by whining at you that I walked into my boyfriend’s apartment in a corset, fishnets and pasties and he reacted by pouring himself a bowl of Quaker Harvest Crunch and asking me if I want to see the new vinyls he got in the mail.
I do mean like telling you about how If I don’t find 6 pounds of chocolate and wash it down with a gallon of red wine in the next 4 minutes I might implode.
I do mean like telling you that yesterday I took one of those gross “Before” photos of myself in my underwear and told myself that if I don’t lose a trillion pounds in the next month I’m divorcing myself.
I do mean like “HEY GUYS! Today is the fifth day that I worked-out this week and although I may have aggravated my tendinitis into a permanently broken shoulder, I’m really pretty proud of myself gawdddamnit!
I got my ass kicked (via DVD) by Michael Carson, Kili, Jillian Micheals and Tracy Anderson.
I Jogged on the bike trail on DeMaisonneuve 3 days this week, with the help of Girl Talk‘s killer album All day which came highly (and rightfully so) recommended as the best running album ever, by the lovely, gorgeous and fantastically fit Sheryl Yvette.
You can download the album HERE for free Which makes it even all that much more awesome.
Some of you may already know who Sheryl is and those of you who don’t should. I interviewed her for SWEET VEGAN a few months back and she is crazy inspiring, vegan and cute as a button.
If I can manage to stay motivated this time I’ll update my progress and maybe even get brave enough to include weight and measurements.
But right now I’m off to find a glacier to wedge my shoulder into…