In Which I Eat My Feelings And It Feels So Goooood…

I don’t feel like a useless tool or anything.

It’s not because using crutches has forced me to try to grow arm muscles that are now so sore I can’t lift my hand more than 2 inches-

Or that putting all my weight on the left leg has given me a massive jiggling mutant thigh-

That I’m complaining.

Because I’m not.

And I’m not just trying to get attention either because

a) I know that nobody reads this blog

and

b) I didn’t even tell you guys about the car accident I was in on Friday night.

Because I’m a trouper.

And I’m not a baby.

And I’m not complaining.

I’ve been through worse.

Seriously.

It’s no big deal.

The Soba Sushi delivery guy has totally not camped on my doorstep with a week’s worth of food to save himself tri-daily trips.

I have to eat!!

I totally don’t lay alone on the couch night after night, gargling Pinot Noir with my anti-inflammatory pills, petting my black and blue foot while rubbing the end of the tensor bandage lovingly against my cheek rocking back and forth and humming myself lullabies.

No I don’t!

I am not a baby!

I am a strong and powerful woman who just happens to be temporarily maimed, suffering from badly bruised ego tendons, and also I can’t remember what day I put these pyjamas on…

But at least I still have my dignity God Dammit!

Okay well maybe I don’t, but you know what I do have? about 3 more inches of ass than I had a couple of days ago, and (what should be) a life time supply (but is quickly dwindling) of homemade Vegan vanilla Coconut Ice Cream and Coconut Apple Crumble to match.

I posted the recipes on my Vegan web site if you care.

And you should.

Even if you’re not vegan.

Because even people who eat Babe, and other adorable helpless baby animals, enjoy ice cream, and only people who are mentally deranged don’t love apple crumble. Oh wait…

Just click on the photo captions to be re-directed to Sweet Vegan so you too can get fat and happy with me. You know you want to you…

Jennifer June

Watch It…

I gained 7 pounds. There I said it.

I gained 7 pounds in just a couple of weeks.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been so ridiculously busy that I haven’t found time to exercise.

Maybe it’s because one of my evil daughters went out and got herself a job at the Rockaberry Pie Shop.

Maybe it’s because I’m an emotional eater (There. I said that too).
I know it’s cliché, if you had accused me of it weeks ago I would have rolled my eyes and huffed and puffed, punched your lights, out AND kicked one of my kids to show how much I meant it when I said: As if! And also, that is so cliché!

But I caught myself in the act a few nights ago and it wasn’t pretty.

I had already eaten supper and kept grazing on left-overs while I cleaned up the dishes, in between handfuls of trail-mix and aking repeated trips to the freezer to sneak Coconut Bliss, ONE TABLESPOON at a time.

Not cool Jen. Not cool.

Everyone has days like that, and if it really was just one of those days, I would have thought nothing of it HOWEVER…

I heard the words leave my lips, loud and clear: “I don’t feel better. I need to eat more”. I said those words. I did.

And I stopped and reflected, realizing, that these days are happening more and more often lately.

I eat really well, I do. And I don’t mean – I eat a lot, like “Oh.. your baby eats so well!”

I mean I am a vegan who LOVES veggies and eats almost exclusively whole grains and organic and I limit my intake of processed foods, including tofu and soy milk. Seriously. I eat well.

But… my exercise obsessions routine is sporadic at best and my eating habits suck.

I often go all day without eating and then stuff myself at supper, or graze all night or do that going back to the freezer thing, one tablespoon at a time or whatever.

I’ve been thinking about it and talking to friends, and reading the blog of the ever inspiring Sheryl Yvette – A Neurotic Glamour Girl’s Weight Watchers Experience and Fitness Adventures.

-Side note: I totally did not want to share that link with you girls. I wanted to keep her to myself forever. I’m serious. I did not want to include her name or her blog address. Weird. This is extra stupid because I already interviewed her last year, for Sweet Vegan, and plastered her URL all over the internet.

I think I might have issues.

Must be all this sneaking around with secrets about ice cream and stuff. It’s getting to me.

So! here’s something else I’d rather not share.

Last Wednesday I opened up my laptop and searched Weight Watchers and clicked on Meeting Locator, and within and hour and a half, I was standing in a weigh-in line-up with a bunch of strangers.

I’m serious.

I went to a weight watchers meeting.

I’m not going to lie (anymore), I found it uncomfortable at first.

None of the people there looked like me. They drank flavoured water and wore slacks and sensible shoes (oh the horror) and they were munching on little bags of Weight Watchers snack bars and processed treats that I wouldn’t eat if you paid me.

 

Also, the meeting part seemed really silly to me at first. The topics (so far) don’t seem to apply to me. I don’t shop in supermarkets really and, being vegan, I’m pretty sure I don’t eat the same things as most of the people in my meetings. And, as many of you know, I don’t don’t do very well in those sorts of settings. I tend to feel patronized easily, so when some super smiley face asks me if I go grocery shopping on an empty stomach, I kind of want to leave, on account of having nursery school flash backs.

“Who here shops on an empty stomach? Raise your hands!”

But I realized part way through,, that it didn’t really matter what the topic was. It mattered that everyone in the room had a common goal, to get healthy, and were there to support themselves and each other. And there are occasional little tips that help.

Like, bring a bottle of water or tea with you when you shop, it will keep you from shopping with your stomach. For example.

And there is something really helpful about having to hold yourself accountable, by going to the weigh-ins every week and  something kind of cool about having a whole room full of strangers, men and women,  encouraging you and celebrating your (on and off-scale) victories.

Last night was my second meeting and guess what!

I lost 3.4 lbs! yessir. I did.

I ate all the foods I love, and drank wine, and only exercised a few days this week, on account of being bit by this nasty coughing bug, and I still lost a few pounds. And I even got a little sticker on my tracker that says Bravo. So, Yay me!

Sheryl Yvette On The Cover Of Weight Watchers Weekly!

Jennifer June