When boyfriends are on tour they send their girlfriends presents and postcards.
When that boyfriend is my boyfriend on tour he sends his girlfriend photos of himself…like this one:
When boyfriends are on tour their girlfriends send them emails about all the nasty dirty things their going to to do to them when they home and photos of their boobs so their boyfriend will remember what he has at home and why he should behave himself.
When that girlfriend is me she sends you emails like this:
So I sent your gay picture to your mother and she calls me INSTANTLY and I’m sure she is calling to find out if you’re actually gay but noooooooo…..
She is calling to tell me that you are losing weight too fast and that she is basically worried that you are starving to death on a account of this vegetarian nonsense that I brainwashed you with.
So I ask her if she thinks you might actually be gay (for fun and also because I’m deflecting a potential anti-vegan rant) and she says
“Maybe. You never know. If he is that’s okay I’m just worried about him losing so much weight. People can get sick from being vegetarian Jen. It’s serious.”
So in summary, you mother doesn’t mind even in the slightest if you are gay (which is totally cool) but is completely losing her mind over the idea that you might not have eaten meat or dairy for the last 3 weeks.
“It’s probably just a phase boyfriend’s mom… I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. I sincerely doubt your son will die of vegetarianism”
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