Today is the day before THE day.
Today Groupon sent me (and only me because they love me best and I am their special Valentine girl) these sexy romantic offers:
Romantic Valentine Dinner
Sexy pole dancing for your sexy Valentine date
Festive Valentine ass-probing
OH! The IRONY!!! I hear you world. I hear you laughing at me loud and hard.
So, this morning, in preparation for my own festive ass-probe, the fasting commenced.
7:00am
Espresso - No milk
8:00 am
White Cranberry Juice
9:34 am
Vegetable broth - Hope this counts as a clear liquid even though I can't see through it.
I’m already starving. This is pathetic. I often forget to eat all day. But today, not today. Today eating is ALL I can think about.
I glare at the kitchen accusingly each time I walk past it, which is often – because I am pacing at it’s door on purpose for dramatic effect, even though the only ones home are the cats. They don’t seem to have noticed.
Grrrrr. I hate you Kitchen, you evil temptress, taunting me with your bounty.
Oh how I long for just one single cashew, a dried cranberry, a sesame seed…
But no. Instead, more tea. Yay!
Actually, in all seriousness, this tea is so good I could eat eleventeen gallons of it. I just wish I had a Thai Bowl, a BLT, a salad, some dumplings with peanut butter sauce, Salt&Pepper Tofu, Sushi and a stuffed portobello mushroom burger to go with it.
Tune in later today for Lunch (or lack there of) and Supper in the form of bowel-raping pharmaceuticals.
If I don’t perish from hunger before then…
