I (or my Burlesque persona) was interviewed for Curveinspire.com this week.
It was hard to answer the question “How have your curves helped your career” for two reasons.
One, because, while I am definitely pro-curvy, I’m not anti-angular. So I didn’t want to come off sounding like a jerk.
But also because my first thought was how being curvy has hindered my career. I have certainly had enough doors slammed in my face as a result of not being societies general idea of a conventionally ideal woman. Aesthetically speaking.
I was a little disappointed in myself for having the automatic reaction of flipping the question to the negative side.
I’m not a half-empty girl am I?
Not at all, but I’ve been turned down for roles and gigs and told flat out that my weight/size was the reason.
When I was a mere 125 pounds, a dip-shit boy told me “I’d sleep with you if you lost 5 pounds”
I wish I could tell you that I looked down at him (he was much shorter and younger than I was) and laughed or said something snarky like “Pfft.. no you wouldn’t, because I wouldn’t sleep with you for all the money in the world, even if you grew five inches… taller.”
But instead, despite have 0 sexual interest in said boy, I took it really personally and carried it around with me for years, tucked away with the rest of my negative self-beliefs.
I realized when addressing the question that, for years, I’ve gone through life thinking that I have these positive things in my life despite being who I am, instead of giving credit where it’s due and accepting that I am here because of who I am.
I don’t just mean about Burlesque and performing and weight, shape, size etc… either. I mean life, family, friends, and everything else I have to be thankful for. I mean all my personality traits and weird quirks too. The whole package.
You can read my response and the rest of the interview HERE.