Who is WE exactly???

Posted by Jennifer June (admin) on Mar 11, 2010 | Subscribe
in The awesomeness that is the inner workings of my somewhat disturbed and unarguably juvenile mind.
as ,

Her face so sweet and innocent. Her eyes so curious and hungry for knowledge…

“We’re not allowed to cremate Jews right?”

The room spun upside-down and it was all I could do to keep the nausea from getting the best of me.
Should I put her in private school? Lock her in the basement? Call a therapist? Call the police?

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT AND Who is WE exactly??!?”

My child is a sociopath! I suspected her sister about ten years ago when she used to antagonize the cat without apparent provocation or remorse but I never would have suspected the youngest.

OK that’s a lie. I was scared of her for a few months when she was about 4 years old, when she used to reenact the exorcist every time I tried to put her to bed, but I thought we were past all that.

“We, the people. Humans in general.”

Can’t. Breathe.

“Why on earth would WE, the people, want to cremate anyone?”

I wheezed and fumbled for a chair to defend protect hold myself up with.

“When they die mom. Some people are buried and some are cremated, hello.”

“OH! right! No. By Jewish law the dead must be buried in the earth. No cremation. That is correct. Well, I imagine there are some Jewish people who cremate but I think it’s probably rare. You’re right. Don’t cremate Jews. Excellent. Good.”

She gave me the “Maybe it’s time we got a court order and finally have her committed” look and walked away with conformation for her homework.

I curled up in a ball of shame and surrendered myself in advance to the inevitable symptoms of post traumatic stress.

*

4 Comments

  • At 2010.03.11 12:16, injaynesworld said:

    Okay, that’s hysterical. Personally, I think the kid knew exactly what she was doing and is trying to drive you to drink. But isn’t that the goal of all children really?

    Funny tale.
    injaynesworld´s last blog ..injaynesworld we take "A Look Into The Future…" My ComLuv Profile

    • At 2010.03.11 17:13, Wombat Central said:

      Scary when they have big people thoughts, isn’t it?
      Wombat Central´s last blog ..Sick Day My ComLuv Profile

      • At 2010.03.12 11:58, Liz said:

        I’d like to know who THEY are ..I often hear people saying “you know they say that…” i listen but I can’t help but wondering who is THEY?

        I think your daughter was trying to start a debate just to see if you were an anti-semite… I used to do it to my parents when we lived in Scotland. A new family would move onto our street and would say “why did those people move here accompanied by “the look” and with in 10 seconds I’d feel the warm sting on the back of my head followed by a lecture..and I’d think phew my mother is not a racist.

        • At 2010.03.14 17:04, dingo said:

          The “We, the people” explanation had me cracking up. From now on, whenever I refer to society, I’m just going to say “The People.”
          dingo´s last blog ..Thanks for Nuttin’ My ComLuv Profile

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