I know you are but what am I?

The Dalai Lama says…

“Noticing a single shortcoming in ourselves is far more useful than seeing a thousand in someone else. When it is our own: we can correct it.”

Come now Dalai. May I call you Dalai? Where’s the fun in that?

The problem with seeing our own shortcomings is that, even if we notice them and recognize the solution, the chances of us acting on or correcting them are like one in a bazillion.

For example, I am prone to taking most things personally. Maybe it’s because I am too sensitive. Maybe it’s because I’m an egomaniac who believes that absolutely everything is about me. Either way, in order to correct this I would have to come to peace with the fact that not everything is about me and that others have the right to feel the things that blah blah blah…

See? I’m already bored and distracted by the dirty sock my boyfriend left in the middle of his living room floor. It’s probably his way of telling me that it’s his house without actually peeing in the corners of the room. Jerk.

Oops… there I go again.

On the other hand, I can stay focused for hours on other peoples’ faults flaws shortcomings.

Also, Mr. Lama, I kind of resent you referring to negative qualities as shortcomings. I happen to be shorter than most of my friends (and children) and I’m a little put off by your implication that this is a defect.

Being short has all kinds of wonder to it, including being automatically cute, hurting less less when you fall, a wider variety of partners to chose from if you prefer yours to be taller than you and of course, much more discreet and convenient provision of oral sex. Not that you would know anything about that now would you? Mister holier-than-everybody-but-baby-Jesus-himself/virgin/blow-job and bum-sex hater.

Maybe we should talk about your shortcomings Dalai. Hmmm?

Don’t get me wrong, there is all kinds of awesomness in your beliefs and teachings but I heard about the whole shooting at hawks with your rifle thing. Not cool DL. Not cool.

Then again, you read encyclopedias for fun which is pretty rad and leaves me waffling and confused so let’s move on.

What I’m trying to say is that I hear you but can’t concur.

You see, noticing other people’s shortcomings is clearly more productive then noticing your own.

Criticizing yourself makes you feel like poo, contributes to depression subsequently bashing your self-esteem, depleting your motivation and leaving you an unproductive pathetic loser, sitting in the house with all the curtains closed, stuffing yourself with peanut butter cups watching really bad made for TV movies in the middle of the day .

Criticizing other people, makes you feel better than them which is always a plus, cheers you up, gives you confidence and energy and, as a result, makes you productive.

See?

It’s not a big deal Dalai, just a little oversight on your part. Next time just think it through before making ridiculous rash statements about self discovery, evolution and bettering one’s blah blah blah…