9 reasons to call happy hour about 3 hours early

1 knee injury
2 blood tests this morning
3 kids out of the house for the day
4 people accusing me of having a corn fetish today (don’t ask)
5 days left to figure out what I need to pack, find it and pack it.
6 days until Barcelona
7 days of working out like a powerhouse before injuring my knee
8 times I called jillian Michaels a sadistic !@#$% before giving up
9 reasons to call happy hour about 3 hours early
10 billion things to get done before the end of the day.

Friend 1: “Hang in there Baby. Sounds like a bevy or 2 (or 10) may just be in order”

Me: “Technically as long as it’s after 11am it’s not too early to start right?”

Friend 2: “RIGHT!”

Me: “Also… I think if you have kids that bumps it up to 10am… plus bonus minutes for teethers, diapers and teenagers so… we’re talking like 8:30am-ish?”

It’s like you can almost see the life draining straight from the bottle and back into my eyes… should I be worried?

Jennifer June


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